Mario Lopez will be a grand marshal for the Gasparilla parade on Saturday, January 31st. Lopez is paired along with a real life hero, James C. Faris, a command sergeant major (CSM) of United States Special Operations Command. Thumbs up to James, but let's riff some Albert Clifford Slater jokes!
Law: He will only throw beads at tall girls with curly hair and a long butt.
Brendan: He's actually riding on a float, but he has to turn it around backwards before he sits on it.
Law: I bet his Z CavaRrrrrrriccis hold a dickload of beads!
Brendan: The pirate ship is actually setting sail this year from his dimples.
Law: His pirate costume will be a Bayside wrestling singlet with a parrot on his shoulder.
Think you've got a better A.C. Slater Gasparilla joke, comment below!