A.C. Slater is a 2015 Gasparilla Grand Marshal!

by Law Smith and Brendan T. Gleason

Mario Lopez will be a grand marshal for the Gasparilla parade on Saturday, January 31st. Lopez is paired along with a real life hero, James C. Faris, a command sergeant major (CSM) of United States Special Operations Command.  Thumbs up to James, but let's riff some Albert Clifford Slater jokes! 

Law: He will only throw beads at tall girls with curly hair and a long butt. 

Brendan: He's actually riding on a float, but he has to turn it around backwards before he sits on it.

Law: I bet his Z CavaRrrrrrriccis hold a dickload of beads!

Brendan: The pirate ship is actually setting sail this year from his dimples.

Law: His pirate costume will be a Bayside wrestling singlet with a parrot on his shoulder. 

 

Think you've got a better A.C. Slater Gasparilla joke, comment below!