It's Not About Hate, It's About Heritage...of Hate

The continued defense and use of the Confederate Flag is baffling to me. To hold up such a blatant symbol of hate indicates one of two things to me; You are racist or you are blissfully ignorant to the history of the Rebel Flag. Either way, it does not change the fact that you look like an asshole.

I don’t know why so many people find it necessary or remotely appropriate to apologize for the South’s role during the Civil War. I have never heard this many people making excuses for the actions of Nazi occupied Germany during WWII, and while I know it is a faux pas to draw parallels to the actions of Hitler, I don’t think slavery is too much further down the list of human atrocities as genocide.

For the sake of argument, let’s pretend that the Civil War wasn’t COMPLETELY about slavery and just about state’s rights. What we refer to as the Rebel or Confederate flag today was never actually the flag of the Confederate States. This was;
 

And then, this was;
 

                                                    And last, this was;

After the Civil War, the Confederate flag was promptly removed most places and was rarely used again, reserved only for memorials of fallen Confederate soldiers. It was hardly ever seen, much less flown, after all, and argue it as you like, the Confederates were considered traitors and most nations in general aren’t to fond of symbols of treason being flown around.

It wasn’t until 1948, thanks to a clever redesign and new purpose, that the “Confederate” flag that we now know today came to be. The redesign was done by a group of Southern Democrats who left the party, referring to themselves as the Dixiecrat Party. What was the cause they were fighting for? SEGREGATION! That’s right, they liked their schools like they liked their water fountains, free of blacks!

Not that they were the only ones. Many southern states embraced the policies of the Dixiecrat Party and incorporated the emblem into their own state flags. It was a show of solidarity to oppose solidarity! Of course, the Ku Klux Klan got in on the action too, because racist ghost wasn't distinguishing enough, I guess?

When desegregation finally came about, Southerners still embraced the flag as a way of saying, “Fine, but I don't fucking like it!”. Over time, people started to realize that being a racist wasn't nearly as popular, and the script started to flip. “No, no, I wasn't racist. It was about standing up for what you believe in and not letting the man push you around. It’s about Southern Pride!” which is just an extremely thinly veiled way of justifying your incredibly racist actions.

Do I think most people who wave the flag today are racist? No, but they are so afraid of looking racist by association, they foolishly defend its existence instead of swallowing their pride, throwing the fucking thing away and moving on.

It’s like in Joe Dirt, when he finds that Meteorite. He is so proud of it, takes it everywhere he goes, shows it off and even eats off of it. Then he finds out that it was just a big ole’ hunk of shit, fallen from an airplane bathroom. Does he keep it and argue, “Well it has a different meaning than its origins now!”? No, because some origins are just too fucking disgusting to ignore. Ignoring it just makes you look like an idiot worshiping a big turd.

So, if you’re a racist, wave that flag proudly douchebags! If you claim not to be racist and still wave that flag, knowing it’s full history... Congratulations, you’re fucking dumber than Joe Dirt… and probably still a racist.


The opinions in this article are personal and do not reflect those of Cigar City Comedy… I mean, I hope they do, because that would be depressing otherwise. Regardless, I only speak for myself and not Cigar City Comedy as a whole.

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