PESSIMIST PERSPECTIVE: THE ICE BUCKET CHALLENGE

Haters. Naysayers. Opportunists. Pessimists. Assholes.

 

Perhaps you know some of these people or, better yet, perhaps you ARE one of these people -- like this piece’s author. No matter your perspective, there’s something to be learned here.

So, this Ice Bucket Challenge thing … media’s current obsession and an ALS supporter’s dream trend has taken over social networks and has led to a stunning increase in donations. Good for them! (said in snotty 3rd grader voice).

 

But let’s not forget to hate it. Right? I can’t be the only one shaking my head as I scroll through my Facebook feed of ice, both cubed and flaked, being poured atop a “charitable,” now frigid “friend.” If you’re like me, it’s almost instinctual to hate it. Before I even knew what the challenge was, I already hated it. It was a knee-jerk emotion and even after clicking through several links arguing both for and against the whole thing, my stance remained the same: fuck this.

Now, don’t get me wrong. My pessimism doesn’t derive from the actual “challenge” or the disease or even the millions of dollars it’s been raising. (Like, I said, it’s instinctual. I can’t help how I hate.) What bothered me was that the goal was to raise awareness and money, but only one seemed to be achieved.

 

Money? Best believe it was raised. Awareness? Just hold on, we’re going home.

When I argued with an Ice Bucketeer recently, I had the distinct privilege of ending their how-can-you-not-support-this rant with a simple question:

What does ALS stand for?

His response? Lou Gehrig’s Disease.

Perfect. For the record, ALS is also known as Lou Gehrig’s disease, however it stands for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Duh, you dummies.

 

Are we supposed to be dumping ice because we care or because everyone else is doing it? Because if we cared, I imagine we would all be taking a phonetics class on how to pronounce “amyotrophic.”

Just shut the fuck up and let the challenge be what it is. It’s raising a lot of money and that’s what victims of ALS need.

Touché.  BUT...you don’t understand. I need to hate it. My therapist said because I lack love in my life, I channel it through hatred.

 

Haters gonna hate. However, I think I really know why. At least for this Lice Fucket Challenge.

 

After countless minutes of pensively pacing my studio apartment, I’ve narrowed it down to this: In order to just let it go and accept it … I think ... I just ... need to be challenged.

 

There I said it.