Republished from Jonas Presendieu's Funny Or Die blog post

The level of ignorance and uneducated opinions on Saturday’s Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight is mind boggling. The new wave of morons this fight has introduced to boxing do not understand that boxing is a REAL SPORT, and like every other sport it consists of STRATEGY, POINTS & ATHLETISIM. Expecting every punch thrown to be a flawless heavy blow to the face is like watching baseball and expecting every player batting to hit a home run. Expecting every fight to end in a KO is like expecting every basketball game to end in a back board shattering game winning slam dunk. It’s rare, and most likely won’t happen. 

Mayweather’s ability to be the best elusive defensive fighter in the history of the sport should be celebrated, think about it: When most retired boxers talk, they all sound like grown men who were robbed of basic K-12 education from the years of cerebral damage they’ve taken from punches trying to get KO’s brawling in the ring. Why can’t we celebrate that for the first time in the history of boxing, someone has found a way to receive minimal damage throughout 19 years fighting, collect at least $100M a fight, retire at 40 AND STILL have the prospect of living a long, healthy and wealthy life? I’ve met Walmart greeters who will have to retire after 5 years on the job because their knees can’t support their weight anymore. 19 YEARS OF FIGHTING and he gets to retire looking like a 21 year old struggling to grow a goatee, and if he decides to shave, he’ll get to retire looking like a 19 year old with no goatee... Instant hall of famer.

Then again, I am so pro-Mayweather I hope he never goes broke after he retires. I want him to copyright his fighting style and signature moves (ie. Shoulder roll) and get even richer. Then, from the mass of wealth he’s accumulated throughout his career I hope he gets fat and lazy during his tenure and his children pick up vicious cocaine addictions with no reason to go to rehab because they will never run out of money. Why? Because he’s earned it playing smart. In the world of boxing he is on top and I want it to stay that way. 

Go fulfill your blood thirsty expectations watching a UFC match, I promise it will be quenched from watching a franchise of fighting that will allow a fighter to get knocked out cold and take 15 more punches to the face unconscious before the ref finally decides to step in and count to ten.

Jonas Presendieu is a comedian, radio host, contributing writer to Cigar City Comedy and the recipient of the NAACP's "2015: Black Guy Who Looks Scary From A Distance But After You Talk To Realize He Wouldn't Harm A Fly" award.   Follow him on Twitter here or befriend him on Facebook here